We've had a houseful of pets.
At one time we had two turtles, two birds, two rabbits and two dogs. The rabbits and one bird have since crossed over, but this is a story about Dakota, our 135 pound four legged baby.
Our first child, Dakota came to us when he was six months old, probably weighing in at around 80 lbs and as tall as a small pony. A rottie mix, he is a magic dog. He has had past lives as a 12 year old boy and an old indian.
We were told to crate train him, so we bought the biggest crate we could find and crammed him in there. He broke out. We crammed him back in and put chains all around the crate. He broke out. Ok, we decided crates are not for you, you can have the whole kitchen. If we ever needed a nanny cam, these were the days.
Dakota would somehow take things off of the kitchen counters. I don't mean the stuff that was near the edges that he could reach with his teeth. I mean all the way in the back corners. We came home one day and he had climbed out of the bay window is about a foot tall and in the back of the kitchen behind the sink. The only way to do this was to fly. (Well, he does have space on his shoulder blades where his angel wings come out, but we have never actually seen him fly.) He tore our kitchen door apart and climbed over it to get to the rest of the house.
Ok, we decided maybe a whole house dog. Well, let's see, he ate our couch. He turned the on the gas on our stove, most likely with his paws, trying to cook something but decided to eat the chicken in the sink raw instead, after which, not being able to figure out how to turn off the gas, he hid in a back bedroom until I came home late that evening. Goddess is good. Nothing blew up.
We made it through puppyhood. We added a second rottie, a princess that we named Grace Diane. It took us three years to find her. Dakota was very picky in choosing his companion. We had our beautiful daughter a few years after that and were strongly encouraged to "get rid" of the dogs. Thankfully we did not. Olivia and the dogs love each other. Both are sweet gentle loving beings. They let Olivia climb all over them and barely lift a head.
Dakota has had two leg surgeries and both times during his recovery I would spend all night laying on the floor with him, talking to him and giving him reiki and holding his head and paws.
He likes to snuggle. He comes up and puts his paw or head in my lap when I am feeling sad. Likewise, when he is feeling sad, hurt or scared, he comes and puts his paw or head in my lap. He is a small ponied size, 135 pound, 4 legged healer.
Yesterday I slammed my finger in a drawer in the kitchen. I was screaming as silently as I could so as not to alarm Olivia. She just glanced over at me. Gracie was nowhere to be seen. But Dakota, the magic dog, got up and ran to my rescue. He tried to give me his paw,and put my hand gently in his mouth and I am sure was trying to ease my pain by sending back the love in the same manner in which I so often do with him. It worked. I felt better instantly.
Then he rolled over on his back for a belly rub. Which he got. :)
Blessed Be the animals.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Outline for Reiki Circle
Date: Friday July 11th
Time 7-10
3 tables/4 people per table
Share is limited to 12 people
7:00-7:15 people arrive
7:15-7:30 Opening meditation and short discussion
7:30-8:30 Reiki share/rotate people on the table every 1/2 hour
8:30-8:45 15 minute break/light snacks (almonds, etc.)
8:45-9:45 Reiki share/rotate people on the table every 1/2 hour
9:45-10:00 Grounding and closing meditation
Reiki Circle/Share is open to all people even if they have no previous Reiki experience. This offers the community a chance to experience this beautiful way of expressing universal love
Donation-sliding scale $10-$20
Tables: Paige, Jennifer? Jane?
Time 7-10
3 tables/4 people per table
Share is limited to 12 people
7:00-7:15 people arrive
7:15-7:30 Opening meditation and short discussion
7:30-8:30 Reiki share/rotate people on the table every 1/2 hour
8:30-8:45 15 minute break/light snacks (almonds, etc.)
8:45-9:45 Reiki share/rotate people on the table every 1/2 hour
9:45-10:00 Grounding and closing meditation
Reiki Circle/Share is open to all people even if they have no previous Reiki experience. This offers the community a chance to experience this beautiful way of expressing universal love
Donation-sliding scale $10-$20
Tables: Paige, Jennifer? Jane?
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Best Friend
Olivia told me that I was her best friend today.
It made my heart sing and soar straight up into the sky.
It made my heart sing and soar straight up into the sky.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Transition
I used to take a shower before I went to work, meaning having to get in my car, drive somewhere, do some boring and useless task, and bring home a paycheck. Now that I have been working from home for 2.5 months without a paycheck, I am just now coming the realization that I need to take a shower before starting my day. For months I was waiting to take a shower because there was nowhere that we needed to be. Now Olivia asks me where we are going when we clean up and get dressed. While I do believe that it is occasionally ok to hang around in your pj's, perhaps it should be a little less frequent.
Olivia loves to help. She loves to be with me, and I love for her to be with me. She likes to climb on me and pinch my elbows and sleep on top of me and gives me lots of hugs and kisses. She helps me cook, create a garden in the backyard, feeds the dogs, waters the plants, paints the kitchen table, poops on the bathroom floor, pees on the the living room floor, wipes her runny nose on my clothes and cuts her own hair. She takes all of her toys out of the bedroom and brings them into the living room. She likes to help fold clothes. Everytime we drive somewhere all of the babydolls need to be strapped in the car with a kiss on top of their heads. She is constantly testing her boundaries and I have to stay three steps ahead. I read somewhere that the annual salary for a stay at home mom should be around $117,000. Seems kind of low to me.
Nothing is done. I cannot complete a task. I cannot park her in front of the television and do my own thing, she won't even stay there! She turns it off by herself and comes to be with me. My house is trashed, my home business is falling behind, the dogs need to be brushed and walked and I am completely exhausted. I have about a thousand phone calls to make. I need to physically leave my house in order to get a break. An hour at starbucks with a book is heaven. By the way, did I mention that my husband works 60 hours a week outside the home? How did I do all of this and work offsite full time as well?
Olivia and I cannot sleep during the new moon, so that is about 4-5 days of constant energy, then there is the aftermath where both mama and baby are tired and cranky for about another week. It's a vicious circle.
The last two days have been particularly high energy. I keep trying to clean up and do work, but am drawn back to Olivia. I had a business meeting scheduled for 7:00 last night. I called my partner and asked her if we could meet in the bar. I know now why mothers drink a glass (or two) of wine every night. She ended up canceling. I drank wine at home.
I am learning how to make three meals a day and how to sit down with Olivia and eat these meals. The days of wandering around the house and eating whatever, whenever are ending as well. She loved veggies until she started preschool, then suddenly they weren't so cool anymore. How do I get veggies into this girl? Well, the entire family for that matter.
Like learning any new job, motherhood takes time, patience and a little magic.
I had a client come by yesterday at the height of the chaos. I tried to clean up quickly, but she was too fast getting here. The house was, well...Olivia had just done numbers on both the living room and bathroom floors and was brushing her teeth by herself, naked. The dogs were barking and my frustration level was through the roof. But I was laughing. I was smiling while telling my client (and friend) that I was in desperate need of a drink. Not able to take the intense high energy, she left quickly but first surrounded my house in love and white light. Everything calmed down. I lit some incense and played some calming music and made dinner. Olivia ate some.
She slept on top of me last night. I am still smiling this morning and everyday grateful for this beautiful smart child.
Everything will get done in it's own time.
We're going to the beach. :)
Blessed Be
Olivia loves to help. She loves to be with me, and I love for her to be with me. She likes to climb on me and pinch my elbows and sleep on top of me and gives me lots of hugs and kisses. She helps me cook, create a garden in the backyard, feeds the dogs, waters the plants, paints the kitchen table, poops on the bathroom floor, pees on the the living room floor, wipes her runny nose on my clothes and cuts her own hair. She takes all of her toys out of the bedroom and brings them into the living room. She likes to help fold clothes. Everytime we drive somewhere all of the babydolls need to be strapped in the car with a kiss on top of their heads. She is constantly testing her boundaries and I have to stay three steps ahead. I read somewhere that the annual salary for a stay at home mom should be around $117,000. Seems kind of low to me.
Nothing is done. I cannot complete a task. I cannot park her in front of the television and do my own thing, she won't even stay there! She turns it off by herself and comes to be with me. My house is trashed, my home business is falling behind, the dogs need to be brushed and walked and I am completely exhausted. I have about a thousand phone calls to make. I need to physically leave my house in order to get a break. An hour at starbucks with a book is heaven. By the way, did I mention that my husband works 60 hours a week outside the home? How did I do all of this and work offsite full time as well?
Olivia and I cannot sleep during the new moon, so that is about 4-5 days of constant energy, then there is the aftermath where both mama and baby are tired and cranky for about another week. It's a vicious circle.
The last two days have been particularly high energy. I keep trying to clean up and do work, but am drawn back to Olivia. I had a business meeting scheduled for 7:00 last night. I called my partner and asked her if we could meet in the bar. I know now why mothers drink a glass (or two) of wine every night. She ended up canceling. I drank wine at home.
I am learning how to make three meals a day and how to sit down with Olivia and eat these meals. The days of wandering around the house and eating whatever, whenever are ending as well. She loved veggies until she started preschool, then suddenly they weren't so cool anymore. How do I get veggies into this girl? Well, the entire family for that matter.
Like learning any new job, motherhood takes time, patience and a little magic.
I had a client come by yesterday at the height of the chaos. I tried to clean up quickly, but she was too fast getting here. The house was, well...Olivia had just done numbers on both the living room and bathroom floors and was brushing her teeth by herself, naked. The dogs were barking and my frustration level was through the roof. But I was laughing. I was smiling while telling my client (and friend) that I was in desperate need of a drink. Not able to take the intense high energy, she left quickly but first surrounded my house in love and white light. Everything calmed down. I lit some incense and played some calming music and made dinner. Olivia ate some.
She slept on top of me last night. I am still smiling this morning and everyday grateful for this beautiful smart child.
Everything will get done in it's own time.
We're going to the beach. :)
Blessed Be
Monday, June 2, 2008
Children's energy workshop
Time
3 hours
Cost 60.00?
Age Range 5-9??
Agenda:
Grounding and centering
1. Becoming a tree. :)
15 minute meditation led by Paige
grounding and centering. Walking with our roots in the ground
10 minute discussion on where and when this ground technique can be used led by Jane
Working with the energy around us.
Short discussion on what energy is
10 minutes
1. Feeling the energy in our hands (Energy Ball)
10 minutes
2. Feeling the energy in our tummys
10 minutes
3. Feeling our neighbors energy
10 minutes
Exploration and Explanation: to work alone or with Paige and Jane
25 minutes
1.5 hours
4. Working with food and break
discussion of energy and vibrations in food. Exercise in making food choices using your internal vibration and the foods vibrations
30 minutes
5. Medicine/nature walk?? Would be great if we can do this.
6. Crystals and rocks
Exploring, feeling handling crystals and rocks. Discussion of what vibrations children feel
20 minutes
7. Coloring and drawing-discussion
Jane-
30 minutes
Close
10 minutes
1.5 hours
3 hours
Cost 60.00?
Age Range 5-9??
Agenda:
Grounding and centering
1. Becoming a tree. :)
15 minute meditation led by Paige
grounding and centering. Walking with our roots in the ground
10 minute discussion on where and when this ground technique can be used led by Jane
Working with the energy around us.
Short discussion on what energy is
10 minutes
1. Feeling the energy in our hands (Energy Ball)
10 minutes
2. Feeling the energy in our tummys
10 minutes
3. Feeling our neighbors energy
10 minutes
Exploration and Explanation: to work alone or with Paige and Jane
25 minutes
1.5 hours
4. Working with food and break
discussion of energy and vibrations in food. Exercise in making food choices using your internal vibration and the foods vibrations
30 minutes
5. Medicine/nature walk?? Would be great if we can do this.
6. Crystals and rocks
Exploring, feeling handling crystals and rocks. Discussion of what vibrations children feel
20 minutes
7. Coloring and drawing-discussion
Jane-
30 minutes
Close
10 minutes
1.5 hours
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Spiders and Parasites and Wrong Turns, OH MY
I recently started working with a Lemurian seed crystal. This is a very powerful crystal. It makes my body throb with the vibration and sends me difficult messages in the dreamtime.
Dreams about spiders that want to jump on me and hold me down. Dreams about spiders that spin webs that bind me. Dreams about prehistoric parasites in my left hand with rows and rows of sharp pointy teeth, perhaps reminding me that I have the power to hurt as well as heal. This was not just one dream, but a series of them. I do not consider them to be the beautiful dreams about creativity that spiderwoman can bring, but dreams about conniving people or situations trying to hold me back. Perhaps it is my own self that is the spider and the parasite, afraid of my own power and my true potential.
Yesterday I came across a new stone, calcite, and worked with that one in the dreamtime. It is a soft and sweet honey yellow stone whose immediate message was "I will take you there". It made my left had throb as I held it. I had dreams of missed turns, taking a longer route than necessary, returning to places where I am not liked or wanted, driving into water and having to backpaddle out in order to make the correct turn. Can't ask for anything more clear than that.
All of this is clearing, cleansing, revealing my fears in such a way that I can release them and move forward in confidence. I will look more carefully at my options and make wise decisions. Perhaps the "seat of your pants" philosophy is not working any more. Waiting to see what someone else is doing or asking for advice or approval is no longer an option. Taking action for myself. This will set me further apart from the tribe, and perhaps that is where I am supposed to be.
The Shaman's tent is always a little beyond the tribal grounds.
Blessed Be
Dreams about spiders that want to jump on me and hold me down. Dreams about spiders that spin webs that bind me. Dreams about prehistoric parasites in my left hand with rows and rows of sharp pointy teeth, perhaps reminding me that I have the power to hurt as well as heal. This was not just one dream, but a series of them. I do not consider them to be the beautiful dreams about creativity that spiderwoman can bring, but dreams about conniving people or situations trying to hold me back. Perhaps it is my own self that is the spider and the parasite, afraid of my own power and my true potential.
Yesterday I came across a new stone, calcite, and worked with that one in the dreamtime. It is a soft and sweet honey yellow stone whose immediate message was "I will take you there". It made my left had throb as I held it. I had dreams of missed turns, taking a longer route than necessary, returning to places where I am not liked or wanted, driving into water and having to backpaddle out in order to make the correct turn. Can't ask for anything more clear than that.
All of this is clearing, cleansing, revealing my fears in such a way that I can release them and move forward in confidence. I will look more carefully at my options and make wise decisions. Perhaps the "seat of your pants" philosophy is not working any more. Waiting to see what someone else is doing or asking for advice or approval is no longer an option. Taking action for myself. This will set me further apart from the tribe, and perhaps that is where I am supposed to be.
The Shaman's tent is always a little beyond the tribal grounds.
Blessed Be
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
An 80's party
I spent several weeks thinking about the party. I was going to wear my clash tee shirt fer shure, my leather jacket and leather hat. All treasures from a previous lifetime.
As I was upstairs looking through my box of junk/treasures, I came across the photo. The one of Jay, Marty and Hoss hanging out on top of the car. Jay and Hoss were lounging, relaxing. Marty, never one to stop moving, was drumming on the roof, wearing my bobby and the midnights shirt. It would have been nice to have THAT shirt for the party.
So now I was bringing three other people with me to the party. I started to remember the fun we had back then, just hanging out and going to concerts sometimes going to school or work. This brought in more people that I would bring to the party. Wayne, Don, Debbie (she WAS debbie back then, now to be called Debra), Shirley, Dave, Angela, etc. Wow this party was going to be crowded. I was thinking about Harold and Maude, Quardraphenia, the Rocky Horror picture show.
I remembered playing mexicali and sitting on the roof smoking clove cigarettes,(yes we actually did this, it's not just a Tom Petty lyric) and the day Jay hopped a freight train. Dancing on the roof of the bank of america building until the cops came.
I wanted to honor this young girl of my past. I had put her away so many years ago as no longer serving the woman that is me now and I am glad I did. That girl deserved to be honored because she is the one who created me. She is the maiden and I am now the mother, one day to be crone.
I got dressed, put food coloring in my hair and boldly walked my 18 year old circa 1982 punk self into the 7-11 and bought clove cigarettes. The woman at the counter did not know what they were. After finally acquiring the final prop that would complete my previous self, I climbed back into our giant Ford F250 truck and my husband and daughter took me to pick up some other friends and drove us to the party.
There were 80's videos playing. The one I remember is Olivia Newton John's Let's get physical. There were lots of others, but that is the one that keeps coming back to me. I supplied my current friends with clove cigarettes and they all smoked joyfully. I did not smoke, being true to my current self even though I was dressed as my old self.
The music was good, although there were very few songs that I actually knew being played. I danced anyway. Marty, Jay, and Hoss and all the others drifted away, leaving me to dance alone in 2008.
Blessed Be
As I was upstairs looking through my box of junk/treasures, I came across the photo. The one of Jay, Marty and Hoss hanging out on top of the car. Jay and Hoss were lounging, relaxing. Marty, never one to stop moving, was drumming on the roof, wearing my bobby and the midnights shirt. It would have been nice to have THAT shirt for the party.
So now I was bringing three other people with me to the party. I started to remember the fun we had back then, just hanging out and going to concerts sometimes going to school or work. This brought in more people that I would bring to the party. Wayne, Don, Debbie (she WAS debbie back then, now to be called Debra), Shirley, Dave, Angela, etc. Wow this party was going to be crowded. I was thinking about Harold and Maude, Quardraphenia, the Rocky Horror picture show.
I remembered playing mexicali and sitting on the roof smoking clove cigarettes,(yes we actually did this, it's not just a Tom Petty lyric) and the day Jay hopped a freight train. Dancing on the roof of the bank of america building until the cops came.
I wanted to honor this young girl of my past. I had put her away so many years ago as no longer serving the woman that is me now and I am glad I did. That girl deserved to be honored because she is the one who created me. She is the maiden and I am now the mother, one day to be crone.
I got dressed, put food coloring in my hair and boldly walked my 18 year old circa 1982 punk self into the 7-11 and bought clove cigarettes. The woman at the counter did not know what they were. After finally acquiring the final prop that would complete my previous self, I climbed back into our giant Ford F250 truck and my husband and daughter took me to pick up some other friends and drove us to the party.
There were 80's videos playing. The one I remember is Olivia Newton John's Let's get physical. There were lots of others, but that is the one that keeps coming back to me. I supplied my current friends with clove cigarettes and they all smoked joyfully. I did not smoke, being true to my current self even though I was dressed as my old self.
The music was good, although there were very few songs that I actually knew being played. I danced anyway. Marty, Jay, and Hoss and all the others drifted away, leaving me to dance alone in 2008.
Blessed Be
Thursday, April 3, 2008
In the blink of an eye
Thank you Ganesh for removing the largest obstacle, my job.
I now invite with an open heart, Lakshmi fill my life with prosperity and financial abundance.
A teacher once pointed out that things can change in the blink of an eye. I have been working the energy of getting out this job for years, and now, in the blink of an eye it has been done. The law of attraction does work! Stating and believing in your intentions creates change in your life.
I am now free to focus on
Raising Olivia and taking care of my family
The advertising and marketing collective
The community garden
My herbalist studies
I am now able to schedule work from home 5 days a week while Olivia is in school and spend the rest of my day focusing on her and family, solving the boundary issue that came up for me in an earlier entry
I want this transition to be smooth and non-stressful for our family
I want to create financial abundance that comes to me easily and frequently by working a flexible schedule in healing work and freelance/contract work.
I want to make friends with money and know that it is ok to save AND to spend with wisdom
I took Olivia to the beach today and walked to the grocery store to buy good, healthy food for dinner tonight.
I feel such a great sense of relief that it is almost indescribable.
I am looking forward to the new chapter in my life.
I've been smiling all day.
I only want congratulations and achieving this milestone.
Everyone is happy that I am home.
I now invite with an open heart, Lakshmi fill my life with prosperity and financial abundance.
A teacher once pointed out that things can change in the blink of an eye. I have been working the energy of getting out this job for years, and now, in the blink of an eye it has been done. The law of attraction does work! Stating and believing in your intentions creates change in your life.
I am now free to focus on
Raising Olivia and taking care of my family
The advertising and marketing collective
The community garden
My herbalist studies
I am now able to schedule work from home 5 days a week while Olivia is in school and spend the rest of my day focusing on her and family, solving the boundary issue that came up for me in an earlier entry
I want this transition to be smooth and non-stressful for our family
I want to create financial abundance that comes to me easily and frequently by working a flexible schedule in healing work and freelance/contract work.
I want to make friends with money and know that it is ok to save AND to spend with wisdom
I took Olivia to the beach today and walked to the grocery store to buy good, healthy food for dinner tonight.
I feel such a great sense of relief that it is almost indescribable.
I am looking forward to the new chapter in my life.
I've been smiling all day.
I only want congratulations and achieving this milestone.
Everyone is happy that I am home.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
My grandparents house
What I want to take from my grandparents house:
Hamburgers in greasy paper bags with french fries and thick chocolate shakes
Downtown
Sunday Dinners
City Chicken
Lake Perch and Bluegill
Fish Fries and Pancake Breakfasts
Halloween
Raking Leaves
The smell of burning leaves in the fall
Community baseball games
The Chicago Cubs
Jigsaw puzzles
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Cokes in the small glass bottles, ice cold on a hot summer day
The front porch
Thunderstorms with lots of lightning in the middle of the night
Souvenirs by John Prine:
All the snow has turned to water
Christmas day has come and gone
Broken toys and faded colors
Are all that's left to linger on
I hate graveyards and old pawnshops
For they always bring me tears
Can't forgive the way they rob me
Of my childhood souvenirs
Memories, they can't be bought'n
They can't be won at carnivals for free
It took me years, to get those souvenirs
And I don't know how they slipped away from me
Broken hearts and dirty windows
Make life difficult to see
That's why last night and this morning
Always look the same to me
I hate reading old love letters
For they always bring me tears
Can't forgive the way they rob me
Of my sweetheart souvenirs
Hamburgers in greasy paper bags with french fries and thick chocolate shakes
Downtown
Sunday Dinners
City Chicken
Lake Perch and Bluegill
Fish Fries and Pancake Breakfasts
Halloween
Raking Leaves
The smell of burning leaves in the fall
Community baseball games
The Chicago Cubs
Jigsaw puzzles
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Cokes in the small glass bottles, ice cold on a hot summer day
The front porch
Thunderstorms with lots of lightning in the middle of the night
Souvenirs by John Prine:
All the snow has turned to water
Christmas day has come and gone
Broken toys and faded colors
Are all that's left to linger on
I hate graveyards and old pawnshops
For they always bring me tears
Can't forgive the way they rob me
Of my childhood souvenirs
Memories, they can't be bought'n
They can't be won at carnivals for free
It took me years, to get those souvenirs
And I don't know how they slipped away from me
Broken hearts and dirty windows
Make life difficult to see
That's why last night and this morning
Always look the same to me
I hate reading old love letters
For they always bring me tears
Can't forgive the way they rob me
Of my sweetheart souvenirs
Monday, March 24, 2008
A different kind of community garden
What if a group of people started a different type of community garden?
Not one where we all go out and find a plot of land and equally work/share, but one where we use our own property?
We could take a section of our property, (many of us have this set up already) and use it as a "community garden" section.
We would all grow different kinds of fruits and veggies and share them with each other.
Considering the various microclimates on the coast, we could have some amazing food for very little cost.
It would require very little organization time, in fact meeting time can mostly be done via email/groups or blogs.
This is a way that we can help to feed ourselves and each other without relying so much on grocery stores.
Friends that do not have property to grow their own fruits/veggies can contribute by helping out in another friends garden.
Let me know your thoughts.
Peacefully yours
Tejas
Not one where we all go out and find a plot of land and equally work/share, but one where we use our own property?
We could take a section of our property, (many of us have this set up already) and use it as a "community garden" section.
We would all grow different kinds of fruits and veggies and share them with each other.
Considering the various microclimates on the coast, we could have some amazing food for very little cost.
It would require very little organization time, in fact meeting time can mostly be done via email/groups or blogs.
This is a way that we can help to feed ourselves and each other without relying so much on grocery stores.
Friends that do not have property to grow their own fruits/veggies can contribute by helping out in another friends garden.
Let me know your thoughts.
Peacefully yours
Tejas
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Olivia's Garden
I want to develop Olivia's section of the Garden.
I want to paint the daisy box a bright colors with suns and birds and butterflies on it.
I want add perhaps two more boxes in the same manner.
I want to plant the area with hearty ground cover that when stepped on will smell wonderful.
I want to incorporate fairy circles, some type of play fountain and unbreakable gazing balls.
I want borders of annuals around the play stucture and sandbox.
I want to add birdfeeders that are child friendly
I want to be able to enter this area with a small fence with a gate, so that children will feel that this area is a special, magical place just for them (and too keep the dog poop out.
I want to do this in to it's completion using a girls planting/creation day on
Saturday, May 3rd
I want to finance this by using my flex benefits refund of 500.00.
So Mote It Be
I want to paint the daisy box a bright colors with suns and birds and butterflies on it.
I want add perhaps two more boxes in the same manner.
I want to plant the area with hearty ground cover that when stepped on will smell wonderful.
I want to incorporate fairy circles, some type of play fountain and unbreakable gazing balls.
I want borders of annuals around the play stucture and sandbox.
I want to add birdfeeders that are child friendly
I want to be able to enter this area with a small fence with a gate, so that children will feel that this area is a special, magical place just for them (and too keep the dog poop out.
I want to do this in to it's completion using a girls planting/creation day on
Saturday, May 3rd
I want to finance this by using my flex benefits refund of 500.00.
So Mote It Be
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Mirror
As I was getting Olivia ready for school today, I started asking her to get ready.
"No mama, I'm too busy," she said looking down slightly.
"I have a project to do. I am making a kite." She busily continued on with her tape and paper, fully committed to finishing her project before school.
Now, I immediately recognized my own words, "I'm too busy".
While I always make time for Olivia, I do occasionally have to tell her that I am too busy to play with her right now.
I could handle this two ways, I thought.
I can force her to get ready right now. That's right, be in complete control and stop her busy important work so that she could put on her pretty dress and look nice and sweet for school. But wait, if I force her to stop there will be tears on her end and frustration on mine.
I decided to let Olivia be in control. I glanced at the clock, decided that it would be ok today if we did not put on the pretty dress. She could go to school in the shirt and pants she had been playing in all day. I gave her the time to finish her project.
Then we put a piggy tail in her hair, shoes and boots on her feet and off we went. No tears and no frustration.
I honored what I saw in the mirror.
I honored Olivia's reflection of me.
I honored that fact that sometimes we are just too busy to pay attention to someone who wants it.
I honored this with a feeling of pride growth and satisfaction.
I am glad that I respected Olivia's busyness.
Everyday is a blessing and a lesson and yes a look in the mirror whether you want to or not.
Blessings
"No mama, I'm too busy," she said looking down slightly.
"I have a project to do. I am making a kite." She busily continued on with her tape and paper, fully committed to finishing her project before school.
Now, I immediately recognized my own words, "I'm too busy".
While I always make time for Olivia, I do occasionally have to tell her that I am too busy to play with her right now.
I could handle this two ways, I thought.
I can force her to get ready right now. That's right, be in complete control and stop her busy important work so that she could put on her pretty dress and look nice and sweet for school. But wait, if I force her to stop there will be tears on her end and frustration on mine.
I decided to let Olivia be in control. I glanced at the clock, decided that it would be ok today if we did not put on the pretty dress. She could go to school in the shirt and pants she had been playing in all day. I gave her the time to finish her project.
Then we put a piggy tail in her hair, shoes and boots on her feet and off we went. No tears and no frustration.
I honored what I saw in the mirror.
I honored Olivia's reflection of me.
I honored that fact that sometimes we are just too busy to pay attention to someone who wants it.
I honored this with a feeling of pride growth and satisfaction.
I am glad that I respected Olivia's busyness.
Everyday is a blessing and a lesson and yes a look in the mirror whether you want to or not.
Blessings
Boundaries
I want to set up a work from home schedule.
I want Olivia to either go to daycare/playgroup during this time.
I want to initially set up only 4 hours per week for a work from home schedule.
I want my other days to be free for other things/activities with Olivia.
I want to grow my business with clear time and money boundaries.
I want to incorporate this into the Marketing and Advertising collective.
I want $2000.00 to take web design classes.
I want to carve the time out of my schedule to do this.
I want to benefit financially from web and graphic design.
I want to quickly transition from a work away from home to a work from home schedule.
I want this to benefit my family financially and emotionally.
I want Olivia to either go to daycare/playgroup during this time.
I want to initially set up only 4 hours per week for a work from home schedule.
I want my other days to be free for other things/activities with Olivia.
I want to grow my business with clear time and money boundaries.
I want to incorporate this into the Marketing and Advertising collective.
I want $2000.00 to take web design classes.
I want to carve the time out of my schedule to do this.
I want to benefit financially from web and graphic design.
I want to quickly transition from a work away from home to a work from home schedule.
I want this to benefit my family financially and emotionally.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
butterflies #2
I want to create an advertising and marketing collective that caters the non profit and spiritual community.
I want to create an artists co-op.
I want to create a community garden.
I want to take a class in permaculture with Starhawk.
I want to complete my herabalist course.
I want to color and draw and play with Olivia.
I want to walk my dogs.
I want to spend quality time with my husband.
I want to spend quality time with myself.
I want to incorporate my healing work into all of this.
I want the time to do this.
I want the money to do this.
I want these creations to abundantly support my family.
I want to surround myself with people who will help me create these things.
I want to use these creations and skills to benefit community.
I want to rely on my wise self to make good decisions.
I want to spend my days working on these creations and my nights home with my family.
I want the financial support to do this.
I want to know where to get this financial support.
The butterflies are fluttering and the light is shimmering.
Thank you, universe for showing me my true path. Please keep it well lit. :)
I want to create an artists co-op.
I want to create a community garden.
I want to take a class in permaculture with Starhawk.
I want to complete my herabalist course.
I want to color and draw and play with Olivia.
I want to walk my dogs.
I want to spend quality time with my husband.
I want to spend quality time with myself.
I want to incorporate my healing work into all of this.
I want the time to do this.
I want the money to do this.
I want these creations to abundantly support my family.
I want to surround myself with people who will help me create these things.
I want to use these creations and skills to benefit community.
I want to rely on my wise self to make good decisions.
I want to spend my days working on these creations and my nights home with my family.
I want the financial support to do this.
I want to know where to get this financial support.
The butterflies are fluttering and the light is shimmering.
Thank you, universe for showing me my true path. Please keep it well lit. :)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Butterflies
I want to know what I want.
I want to be ok with what it is that I want.
I want to be passionate about what it is that I want.
I want to feel emotion about what it is that I want.
I want to feel joyful about what it is that I want.
I want to be able to look at what it is that I want straight on and know without a whisper of a doubt that this is what I want.
I want my body and soul to shiver with joy and excitement from this discovery of what I want.
I want to be able to embrace what it is that I want with confidence and secure knowledge that yes, this is it!
I want to go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning knowing that I am walking my true path with my eyes open and seeing all the possibilities before me.
I want to welcome all possibilities before me with a joyful heart.
I want to open my heart and let the butterflies out.
Again.
I want to walk in bright shimmering beauty.
Always.
Friday, February 22, 2008
I have
I stay home with my daughter
I have the financial and emotional support to do this
I have a large passive income
I am debt-free
I have a clean house
I make healthy meals daily
I am an active and well respected member of my community
I am a powerful spiritual leader
I have a lovely garden where I grow my own herbs, flowers, fruits and vegetables
I create beautiful art for myself and others
I am always learning and teaching
I have the financial and emotional support to do this
I have a large passive income
I am debt-free
I have a clean house
I make healthy meals daily
I am an active and well respected member of my community
I am a powerful spiritual leader
I have a lovely garden where I grow my own herbs, flowers, fruits and vegetables
I create beautiful art for myself and others
I am always learning and teaching
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Meltdown Mama #2
When Olivia was younger and began having temper tantrums, I would simply sit down and start sending long distance reiki to her. She does not like the hands on Reiki, I think the it's too much for her tiny little body.
Anyway, it is not so easy now. Two days ago, we were having fun at our friend Jane's house. Olivia was having a wonderfully amazing time. Her big girl friend Rachel was home from school, as well as her little friend, River.
About half and hour before time to go, I started giving Olivia her warnings.
"Olivia, time to go in 1/2 an hour"
"Olivia, time to go in 15 minutes"
"Olivia, time to start packing up and heading out"
She was whimpering and whining a little, but gave friendly goodbyes to her second family.
As we were walking out the door, I mentioned that there was candy chocolate at home for girls who were sweet on the drive. She was very excited about the candy chocolate and still fine, until about 15 seconds later when the light switch went off.
There was screaming and crying and hollering, and while she did let me get her in her car seat rather peacefully, she howled all the way home.
"Mama Jane!!! I want Mama Jane", she screamed all the way home. Well, she clearly was not being sweet.
Finally we get into the house and she remembers the candy chocoloate.
"Mama", she sobs, "I want candy chocolate".
"I'm sorry, baby, you weren't very sweet on the way home"
Then the real tantrum starts. Screaming and hollering for Mama Jane and candy chocolate. I begin my usual ritual of sending long distance Reiki. I keep doing this, along with projecting pure love and golden white light, and telling her that I loved her to much to argue with her.
Finally, I realized that another switch had gone off. She was over the top. She could not remember her reason for her tantrum and was crying uncontrollably.
I sit down on the kitchen floor, the room we happen to be in, still projecting thoughts of love and Reiki energy. She climbs into my lab sobbing. I sit there and hold her, just rocking back and forth, whispering quietly in the back of her head, "I love you" over and over again. She sits in my lap, slowly calming down, pinching my elbow, (something she does to help her feel secure) sobbing less and less. Finally a few minutes later she gently asks for a bottle and television, which I lovingly give to her. We sit down for an episode of Raggs.
All is right with the world.
This is one of the best moments of my life.
Blessings to You.
Anyway, it is not so easy now. Two days ago, we were having fun at our friend Jane's house. Olivia was having a wonderfully amazing time. Her big girl friend Rachel was home from school, as well as her little friend, River.
About half and hour before time to go, I started giving Olivia her warnings.
"Olivia, time to go in 1/2 an hour"
"Olivia, time to go in 15 minutes"
"Olivia, time to start packing up and heading out"
She was whimpering and whining a little, but gave friendly goodbyes to her second family.
As we were walking out the door, I mentioned that there was candy chocolate at home for girls who were sweet on the drive. She was very excited about the candy chocolate and still fine, until about 15 seconds later when the light switch went off.
There was screaming and crying and hollering, and while she did let me get her in her car seat rather peacefully, she howled all the way home.
"Mama Jane!!! I want Mama Jane", she screamed all the way home. Well, she clearly was not being sweet.
Finally we get into the house and she remembers the candy chocoloate.
"Mama", she sobs, "I want candy chocolate".
"I'm sorry, baby, you weren't very sweet on the way home"
Then the real tantrum starts. Screaming and hollering for Mama Jane and candy chocolate. I begin my usual ritual of sending long distance Reiki. I keep doing this, along with projecting pure love and golden white light, and telling her that I loved her to much to argue with her.
Finally, I realized that another switch had gone off. She was over the top. She could not remember her reason for her tantrum and was crying uncontrollably.
I sit down on the kitchen floor, the room we happen to be in, still projecting thoughts of love and Reiki energy. She climbs into my lab sobbing. I sit there and hold her, just rocking back and forth, whispering quietly in the back of her head, "I love you" over and over again. She sits in my lap, slowly calming down, pinching my elbow, (something she does to help her feel secure) sobbing less and less. Finally a few minutes later she gently asks for a bottle and television, which I lovingly give to her. We sit down for an episode of Raggs.
All is right with the world.
This is one of the best moments of my life.
Blessings to You.
Monday, February 11, 2008
I've been thinking about Ego. What does ego mean in a spiritual life? I've been told you shouldn't have one or let it take you over. Well, here is my deal.
My ego is hungry. It wants to be fed. Why can't I sleep? because EGO is rolling around like a hungry caged animal saying feed me, I'm starving. So here is what I am thinking. It is ok to feed your ego, just don't overfeed it, like any other part of you or your life.
I need to change jobs. My spirit says so, my body says so and my ego says so. I need a job that feeds all of these parts of me and my family too. I need a job that will allow me to be home with my daughter more often than not. There is no negotiating on this part. I will raise my daughter. There is a reason we become mothers and fathers and that is to RAISE OUR OWN CHILDREN. Somehow a balance must be reached and I will do this.
I need a job that feeds my ego and my creativity. I need to be in charge of something--projects, etc. I need a job that is nearby and allows me to work from home. Did I metion that already?
Here is the part that is hard to spit out. I need a job that will pay ME, my ego-self, a lot of money. I mean a lot. I'm worth it.
This is what my ego says.
"Feed me, I'm hungry. I am a part of you, too."
I am saying,
"Ok, you shall be feed on my terms. You will not take over my life."
Somewhere there is laughter.
Oh dear coyote up are you up to some old tricks?
Always a lesson, right.
My ego wants to write some more, and I am saying it is time for bed.
Balance. Good night.
My ego is hungry. It wants to be fed. Why can't I sleep? because EGO is rolling around like a hungry caged animal saying feed me, I'm starving. So here is what I am thinking. It is ok to feed your ego, just don't overfeed it, like any other part of you or your life.
I need to change jobs. My spirit says so, my body says so and my ego says so. I need a job that feeds all of these parts of me and my family too. I need a job that will allow me to be home with my daughter more often than not. There is no negotiating on this part. I will raise my daughter. There is a reason we become mothers and fathers and that is to RAISE OUR OWN CHILDREN. Somehow a balance must be reached and I will do this.
I need a job that feeds my ego and my creativity. I need to be in charge of something--projects, etc. I need a job that is nearby and allows me to work from home. Did I metion that already?
Here is the part that is hard to spit out. I need a job that will pay ME, my ego-self, a lot of money. I mean a lot. I'm worth it.
This is what my ego says.
"Feed me, I'm hungry. I am a part of you, too."
I am saying,
"Ok, you shall be feed on my terms. You will not take over my life."
Somewhere there is laughter.
Oh dear coyote up are you up to some old tricks?
Always a lesson, right.
My ego wants to write some more, and I am saying it is time for bed.
Balance. Good night.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The beginning:Stating your intention
Well, here we are. One of my spiritual teachers advised me to create a web site. I think that this is as close as I am going to get. I'm not sure what to say except that when I am not writing, my brain is going a million miles an hour thinking of amusing little quips that my ego claims I should be writing done somewhere, somehow.
Perhaps, though, it is my intuition, not my ego. Hmmm. I just assumed it was my ego because it seems so well, egotistical to write a blog as if anyone actually ever cared what your views on life and the world were. But again, here I am, as are many of my friends.
I will start with today. Melatonin meltdown day three as I like to call it. Thursday night I took 5 milligrams of melatonin. You are only supposed to take 2, tops. Not my fault though, I could have sworn that is what my doctor's email read. I read it many times and still come up with the same dosage. Decimal points must have dropped off somewhere in cyberspace.
So Thursday night after doping myself up and laying down for much need sleep, having not slept for weeks and weeks, walking as gently as I can through the kundalini fire, I began to wonder if this was it. The End. I could feel my whole body opening up and tingling especially my left side. The heart attack side. Will I die gently in my sleep TONIGHT? Will my husband take wonderful care our beautiful 2.5 year old daughter? Will I have to be guiding both of them from the other side? Oh what will happen?
I woke up. That is what happened. Extremely tired and depressed. I could barely function or move, but I managed to get my daughter off to school in the afternoon and myself to work for the night shift at the print shop. I can't remember any of it, just that I walked to get dinner because I was afraid to drive (and to get the adreneals moving). I don't remember too much about yesterday either, other than I was still completely out of it and had to keep Olivia occupied all day because her father was in school. Last night I started having trouble sleeping again, a hopeful sign that melatonin is wearing off, but again woke up irratated and depressed.
Olivia and I both had meltdowns this afternoon. Finally I just gave up, went and laid in the bed and started to cry. This is the beautiful part of the story. Olivia, my beautiful 2.5 year old daughter, completely stops her meltdown to take care of me.
"Do you need to blow your nose mommy? I will bring you a kleenex."
"Yes baby," I say. "Thank You"
"Mommy?"
"Yes baby"
"I will stop crying if you do."
"Ok, baby."
That was the end of Sunday Meltdown Mania. All was well after that. We, as one happy family proceeded to clean the house, play and talk without any more meltdowns, just because of the compassion of that little girl.
The melatonin seems to have left my body with that beautiful exchange. It is almost as if she healed me. and I healed her. Isn't that what parents and children are supposed to do? Take care of each other, love each other and recognize and respect when one or the other needs some compassionate love.
Blessings to you all. Thank you for reading
Perhaps, though, it is my intuition, not my ego. Hmmm. I just assumed it was my ego because it seems so well, egotistical to write a blog as if anyone actually ever cared what your views on life and the world were. But again, here I am, as are many of my friends.
I will start with today. Melatonin meltdown day three as I like to call it. Thursday night I took 5 milligrams of melatonin. You are only supposed to take 2, tops. Not my fault though, I could have sworn that is what my doctor's email read. I read it many times and still come up with the same dosage. Decimal points must have dropped off somewhere in cyberspace.
So Thursday night after doping myself up and laying down for much need sleep, having not slept for weeks and weeks, walking as gently as I can through the kundalini fire, I began to wonder if this was it. The End. I could feel my whole body opening up and tingling especially my left side. The heart attack side. Will I die gently in my sleep TONIGHT? Will my husband take wonderful care our beautiful 2.5 year old daughter? Will I have to be guiding both of them from the other side? Oh what will happen?
I woke up. That is what happened. Extremely tired and depressed. I could barely function or move, but I managed to get my daughter off to school in the afternoon and myself to work for the night shift at the print shop. I can't remember any of it, just that I walked to get dinner because I was afraid to drive (and to get the adreneals moving). I don't remember too much about yesterday either, other than I was still completely out of it and had to keep Olivia occupied all day because her father was in school. Last night I started having trouble sleeping again, a hopeful sign that melatonin is wearing off, but again woke up irratated and depressed.
Olivia and I both had meltdowns this afternoon. Finally I just gave up, went and laid in the bed and started to cry. This is the beautiful part of the story. Olivia, my beautiful 2.5 year old daughter, completely stops her meltdown to take care of me.
"Do you need to blow your nose mommy? I will bring you a kleenex."
"Yes baby," I say. "Thank You"
"Mommy?"
"Yes baby"
"I will stop crying if you do."
"Ok, baby."
That was the end of Sunday Meltdown Mania. All was well after that. We, as one happy family proceeded to clean the house, play and talk without any more meltdowns, just because of the compassion of that little girl.
The melatonin seems to have left my body with that beautiful exchange. It is almost as if she healed me. and I healed her. Isn't that what parents and children are supposed to do? Take care of each other, love each other and recognize and respect when one or the other needs some compassionate love.
Blessings to you all. Thank you for reading
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