cord cutting

Recently I had a cord cutting ceremony. I had to release energies from my life that were no longer in alignment with who I am today.

Destructive patterns, past lives and old emotions were friends that I have had around for a long, long time were going to be asked to leave or shift. They lived inside of me. They helped me make decisions based past experiences and created expectations based on previous emotions and patterns. They poked and prodded me. Caused me to live in my head and in fear. It was time for them to go. I was ready to strike out on my own. The advice I was receiving from these long time residents was no longer serving me and was in fact deterring me.

I had to do it quickly, before I decided that I could not live without them. Allowing them to stay would be saying that am not allowing change in my life.

With prayers of protection and love I cut the cords that were causing such chaos in my life. Former lovers, real and imagined, my mothers disapproval, mostly imagined, and feelings of being unloved and unlovable all came pouring out. I watched quietly as these energies drained from my body leaving me feeling empty and a little sad. But not as sad as I was before I set out to make these corrections in my life.

 I sealed the places where the cords were no longer in my body and said prayers of love and release. As I completed the ceremony, I was crying. Tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of relief and release.

As the weeks passed I ran a prayer constantly in my head to reinforce the changes and redirect the flow of destructive thought patterns toward more constructive patterns.

I'm sorry
please forgive me
I love you
Thank you

I'm sorry
please forgive me
I love you
Thank you

Prayers to myself.
 I'm sorry I don't trust you
Please forgive me for not taking responsibility for my actions
I love you because you are creative, gifted and kind
Thank you

Prayers to others.
 I'm sorry I hurt you
Please forgive me for moving forward in my live
I love you for the person you are and will always honor that
Thank you

Once I had started the prayer, it did not stop.  It ran constantly in my head for several weeks. Occasionally it would slow down, only to start up again once a no longer desired thought pattern showed up. My life is changing. Not in big dramatic ways that change overnight, but in the subtle way that the ocean washes away at the land.

I woke up this morning and the prayer had stopped. It was no longer the first thing that popped up in my head. The destructive thought patterns did not pop up either. A feeling of peace and serenity is working it's way through me. I'm not saying that I will never have another destructive thought again or practice self sabotage. I'm saying that a layer has been removed. I don't feel stuck. and I will know what to do when a new layer starts to surface.

 Like the movement of the earth, wind, water and sun, we are ever changing.